Since I have recently fallen in love with writing in a journal, I'm starting a not so private blog.

 I'm planning on going on Beach Reach with the Longhorn Baptist Student Ministry.  This involves going to South Padre Island, making pancakes, cleaning up beaches, sharing Jesus, and loving people.  I'm not an eloquent person.  I love Jesus with my whole heart (well, I'm working on it), but He did not give me the ability to describe half of what He's done for me adequately, but I'm going to practice on you.  In all honesty, I suck.  I'm selfish, fickle, a liar, a cheater, hateful, spoiled, judgmental, and so dumb.  The only cool thing I have going for me is that I do have a Savior who loves me despite of my egocentric ways.  He constantly seeks my attention, even when I have no interest.  He sings truth over me, loves me regardless of my infidelity, shows me grace when I refuse to care for others.

My Savior died so I could live, and I repeatedly run away from His love and grace.  It scares me that He wants to get that close, and it scares me that the lies I've believed for so long could actually be just that- lies.  But at the end of each day, He breaks through my defenses.  He gathers me, brokenhearted and tired, and loves me.  That's why I have to love others.  Not because I want to or am even able to, but because the love I've been shown isn't meant to be kept to myself.

"So now, come back to your God.  Act with love and justice, and always depend on Him." Hosea 12:6