Sooo being up at 2:30 is super fun, especially when you're studying for a child psych test.  Especially after finding out you won't, sadly, get the dream job you've wanted since, oh, you know, forever.  OK, forever is a little exaggeration, but since at least fourth grade, which really seems like forever to me. Yesterday (Monday) was not a particularly great day, and neither was today.  I had a migraine, was stressed out, and was disappointed.  I couldn't make it to my eight o'clock class because I literally felt like my brain was going to explode.  I wasn't at peace, and I was grumpy with everyone who said that God had something better planned.  Sometimes that helps people, but I'm not one of them nor was it a helpful time to hear it.  I looked at pictures from my past mission trips and looked into other ones that are not at all realistic for me.  I have become so apathetic towards school and just about everything.  All I've really wanted to do is sit in my room, by myself, and eat ice cream and possibly cry because nothing is going the way I planned.  Instead I have:
a test tomorrow
tabling for Best Buddies (it'll be really fun though)
a test Thursday
a meeting Thursday night
BEACH REACH Friday through Friday (I'm super excited about this one!)
a paper due the next Monday
a paper due Thursday
two tests Friday

Lucky for me, my God isn't a god that is there during good days and disappears on the bad ones.  No, my God is the God of both good and bad days.  He uses my bad days to teach me to trust Him.  I already have seen so many other opportunities I have to serve Him this summer in ways that I wouldn't have imagined otherwise.  Even in rejection, He's growing my heart and drawing me closer to Him.  He wants me to have peace and be healthy.  One of my new friends (holla fo' community!) assured me today that God is fine with us needing to take breaks from everything.  Jesus went and prayed by Himself a lot.  It's fine for us to step back from our busy schedules and do the same.  He wasn't even happy all the time.  The book of John talks about Jesus crying, which I do, a lot.  It's alright to be human.  I'm so relieved that I'm not expected to be perfect all the time because only God can do that.  And since He's the perfect one, I need to accept His schedule of my life, without rushing or whining.

"You saw me before I was born.  Every day of my life was recorded in you book.  Every moment was laid out before a day had passed."  Psalm 139:16

"In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me."  Jeremiah 29:12-13